Love is everywhere you look.

Today, from the moment you read this until you close your eyes to sleep I want you to look at the love surrounding you.

Seeing and looking are two different verbs. When you see you know something or someone is there. When you look you know what or who they are.

Look at the person standing ahead of you in line. Send them love silently or with a little smile or a helping hand.

Look the car waiting to pull out into traffic and give them a wave and a pass in front of you.

Look at the one you're with and be generous with your hugs, encouragement and praise.

Christmas isn't about the gifts we will be opening ten days from now. It is about the gift of love in our hearts that is available 365 days of the year. Now, today is a great day to exercise your gift giving style and stamina ...

Who loves ya baby?

More importantly ... who will YOU love on today? (The rest follows naturally.)

Yesterday one of my "loves" was a gruff teen-age boy at the Arby's checkout window. I could tell from the tone of his voice that he was not feeling the "Merry" part of Merry Christmas.

"How are you?" I asked. "I'm working" he replied as it that explained everything.

"Put some joy in it." I told him with a big smile on my face and in my heart.

We had a little exchange - a few more smiles and I even got a chuckle out of him when I told him I was a hungry elf on a mission from Santa.

I don't know who felt more love or joy after those moments at the squawk box but I know it mattered or he and I would never have met.

Who can you touch today with a look, a hug, a little humor or a kind word? Love is a verb and a noun. When shared with others it all comes back to us multiplied.

"Best of" Self Healing & Self Discovery Communities helping women be, do and have the Love they desire ...

Happy Girl Musing: Dating advice (almost daily) because you deserve to be loved.

Mom-Defrazzler.com: Self help, humor and hope for stressed out moms.

ChatWithWomen.com : Dating Advice
Talk Radio Show. It’s like calling mom—without the guilt.

HealYourselfTalk.com : Weekly internet radio show to help you ... heal yourself.

TheCheapGourmet.com: Love starts with the stomach, doesn't it?

Visit Jennifer Louden's ComfortQueen.com Comfort Queen: A place to be kind to yourself.

SelfGrowth.com : quality Self Improvement and Natural Health information to help people improve their lives.

FatigueBeGone BLOG: Helping women re-Energize - physically, emotionally and spiritually.


Vision Magazine : body ~ mind ~ spirit ~ earth - Your Catalyst for Conscious Living


Click here for more ...

You learn to speak by speaking, to study by studying, to run by running, to work by working; and just so you learn to love God and man by loving. Begin as a mere apprentice and the very power of love will lead you on to become a master of the art.
-Francis de Sales

There are no coincidences.

If you are reading this you are being called to practice and hone your art of loving. Who can you hug and acknowledge today? How many people can you brighten with your smile, a random act of kindness, a little encouragement?


Today, from this moment on, bring love into everything you do.

Tonight, journal about your experiences. How was this day different, special, brighter? What surprised you? How did you feel physically? (lighter, less stressed, breathing easier?)

Tomorrow, do it all over again.

"Excellence is not an act but a habit. The things you do the most
are the things you will do the best."
– Marva Collins

So true, especially of Love,which the verb.

I Love

You Love

He/She Loves

We Love

You Love (plural)

They Love

Love is not only a verb, but it is an action verb. It is not something that you wait to have happen, it is something that I, you, he/she, we and they DO.

Or, we do not.

Choice.

Prayer Request.

A friend asked me to pass this prayer onto eleven people. In the moment I was less than thrilled.

However, as I thought about it I remembered how vital prayer is to Love. In fact, something shifted in me the day I turned my love life over to my higher power. It wasn't pretty. It was one of those Scarlett O'Hara "I will not eat dirt anymore" moments.

It worked. I have proof named Michael.

This prayer might have gracefully accomplished the same objective. Use it for yourself and pass it onto a friend if you are so moved.

"May today there be peace within. May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.

May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.

May you be content knowing you are a child of God. Let His presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.

It is there for each and every one of us."

While shopping with my mother-in-law today, I picked up the most recent copy of Woman's World magazine, which I prefer to a lot of periodicals geared to females. It's refreshingly free of put-downs and guilt trips.

The issue featured a quote from Rita Rudner, the comedian I had the good fortune to see on a date some years ago at Governors Comedy Club in Levittown, Long Island (where I twice had the immensely great fortune to see Lewis Black).

Here it is:

"Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I wear a scent called 'new-car interior.'"

That Rita. What a card. Actually, my mother was very attracted to the smell of new cars, so it would make a good aftershave, too.

Another dating tidbit in Woman's World:

"The Trick to Being Irresistible? Make his heart do this!Race! Whether you take him to a sports game or an action movie, the latest research reveals that being beside your guy as his heart beats faster convinces his brain that he's getting revved up because of you! In tests, men who crossed a scary bridge found the ..."

Click here to read the rest of Terry's "Almost Daily" Dating advice column. It is one of my favs!

Wake Up Happy Face Exercise
Recognizing Love When You See It

Everyone has bad days. What if you could give yourself something to smile about? This exercise will help you put a smile on your face, perhaps even a spring in your step and a giggle in your mouth! It is not to be done with one ounce of seriousness. In fact, mirth is the main ingredient in this exercise for waking up happy.


1. Begin with a clean mirror. You can use window cleaner, but then you must rinse it with clean water. You'll see why in the next steps.

2. Go to your refrigerator or cupboard and locate your favorite treat with spreading/painting capabliities. Chocolate syrup, molasses, honey, fruit preserves or jam, peanut butter…. Hummus…. Whatever makes you lick your lips in the morning hours and say "delicious."

3. Return to the mirror with selected treat.

4. Wash your hands thoroughly. My mother always told me to do this-force of habit.

5. Look at your reflection.

6. For this step and the rest of the exercise, click here.

Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it.
- Helen Keller

There has been a lot of overcoming and a lot of Love and support in San Diego this week. The fires are awful but out of the ashes come kisses from spirit and support from friends, old and new.

I took this picture Wednesday morning at sunrise. I was thinking about how such pain could create such beauty. There is only one answer. It must be God saying "I am still here with you."

Who ever you are -- Where ever you are -- let this be a sign that you are not alone. Have a beautiful day.

Never give up. Get the knack of getting other people to help you and also pitch in yourself.
-Ruth Gordon

So ... how does this apply to your love life right now? And, what are you going to do about it? Post it here and go-for-it!!!

Dating Dos and Do NOTS!
by Terry Hernon MacDonald, author, Marry Smart.

At my daughter's vision therapy appointment last week, I got to talking to a woman who has a good friend who's hoping to meet a good man on the Internet.

The woman is glad her friend is "getting out there," but she's concerned that this person is setting herself up for failure for one reason:

She's filled her profile with lies, exaggerations, and half-truths.

Fibbing on a profile (or on a date or in a relationship)is a disaster waiting to happen. Don't sabotage your happiness by fudging your age, your salary, or anything else.

Respect yourself and be yourself.

In my single days, I knew a woman who drew tons of responses to a personal ad in which she used the headline, HONEST, SINCERE WOMAN. Most people want to be dealt with honestly, whether it's in business or relationships.

But some people insist on making themselves "look better" on the page, to their own detriment.

Ask Ronnie Ann Ryan. She's the author of MANIFESTING MR. RIGHT, and apublicity writer, in addition to being a dating coach. Women and men ask her for help in writing their Internet profiles. One client stunned her by insisting she include all sorts of false information (she refused).


"Can't you see you're setting yourself up for failure?" She asked the guy. "No woman is going to want you once she finds out the truth."

Ronnie knows what she's talking about from personal experience. At age 40, with no prospects in sight, she set out to meet, fall in love with, and marry a good man who made her happy. (She succeeded and tells how she did it in MANIFESTING MR. RIGHT.)

Along the way, she met a guy who lied to her. She says:

"Before I my husband, I dated a nice guy named Jeff. I was 40 at the time and he said he was 39. We had great conversations, laughs and chemistry. Things were looking up until one night Jeff took out his driver's license to show me how bad the photo was. That's not what I noticed. I saw that he was younger than he said
- only 36. I asked Jeff why he lied about his age, and he said he was afraid I wouldn't date him because he was too young. After that, I couldn't help wondering what else he lied about. The relationship unraveled.

Turns out my husband is four years younger than me. I didn't care when Paul told me he was 37 to my 41 and better still, he didn't care either. Stop worrying about your age and stick with the truth. Honesty is a much better policy - and it's easier to remember, too."

Please resist the temptation to shave years off your age, inflate your salary, and so on. You're fine just the way you are.

Also, take a cue from Ronnie and turn away any man who lies to you. Relationships are built on trust, not lies.

To sign up for Ronnie's f*ree dating newsletter, check out:

www.nevertoolate.biz

To your happily ever after,

Terry
www.happygirlmusing.com Dating Advice (Almost) Daily
Author, How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams

Psssst. Terry is one on my love relationship mentors. She helped me get ready for love and get married. I highly recommend that you read her book - click on the link above. And, listen into her interview on the Get Ready for Love! Show. Topic is "Secrets of Attraction."

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
~ by Marianne Williamson

You know what else? The more you shine, the more you Love and accept yourself, the more Love you attract to yourself and have to share with others. Getting ready for Love? Start by shining your light ...

Click here if you would like to see a beautiful presentation of this quote: http://youtube.com/watch?v=jxRLhn188mI

Live and let live.

I finally understand what this means.

Live. Action verb as in "I live my life."

Let live. Action verb as in "Let him live his own life."

This came to me, the big "ah ha" as I was once again trying to live my husband's life for him. Sound crazy? I am great at living other people's lives (a little illusion eh?!), the challenge is in getting the focus and fun back on mine.

Fear makes me want to control others or control events. Do ya know what I mean? If you have a hint of this issue check out the information on the Root Chakra and learn how to get grounded as in back in your own skin and out of theirs.

Our hearts can beat as one but our Love can use a little space. Space, respect, trust.

Have you signed up to receive the Get Ready for Love Newsletter?

Just thought I'd ask.

It is going out this Thursday and I'll be talking about where to find Love.

Then next Thursday you'll be receiving Chapter One, Confessions of a Loser Magnet, from Terry Hernon MacDonald's best-selling, "Marry Smart." I howled when I read this. It is easy to laugh at the past when the present is hot. Terry is one of my mentor's - one the gang - who helped me find my Love.

Then the next Thursday ... well sign up and find out. Yes, this is a weekly adventure. If you want to get ready for love you do need to
f-o-c-u-s. I did. Terry did. It works.

So, where is Love? You tell me. Post a comment.

Then sign up for the newsletter and we'll compare answers soon ... hmmmmmm.

Relationship Advice from Terry Hernon MacDonald, Happy Girl Musing Founder.

Dear Terry:

I have really, really enjoyed and benefited from your emails since I signed up. It's great perspective.

I have a question to throw into the mix. While there are a number of potential candidates for dates at the moment, the man I think I like the bet is, unfortunately, deployed to Iraq. I've never met him; he's someone my Dad thought would be great for me, but we're both formerly married, so the conversation got going over email last January when it became clear we were both now divorced and available. Initially, I just treated it as a sort of a reach-out to a person in a war zone and therefore under considerable distress (my small part to help the troops...Yadda yadda yadda).

But we have a great deal in common (as it turns out), and my Dad may well have been right (wonderful man, my Dad) that this guy is a good match.

So what I'm wondering is this: Click here to read the rest of the letter and Terry's reply.

Then -- come back here and click on this link to send a letter of your own to A Million Thanks.
The song that plays when you pull up this site is shivers-down-my-spine awesome.

Love doesn't just sit there like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new.
-Ursula K. LeGuin

What can you do today to refresh , make new, a significant other relationship? Who FIRST comes to mind when I ask you this question?

Maybe that is a good place to start ...

THE FEAR OF REJECTION: A ONE-DAY CURE
By Harriet Lerner

Cured in a day? It happened like this:

I was surprised to get a call from Frank, a former therapy client who now lived in Tulsa, Oklahoma. His work was bringing him back to Kansas for a two-day seminar, and he wanted to know if I would meet with him. I hadn’t seen Frank since he and his wife, Ann, terminated marital therapy with me many years earlier. They appeared to be doing well, but Frank told me that shortly after they moved to Tulsa, Ann ended their marriage. Frank was devastated at the time, but he reported that he was now doing fine—“except for one thing.”

“What’s the problem?” I asked.

“Maybe I was traumatized by the divorce,” Frank replied, “but ever since Ann left me,

click here for the rest of the excerpt from Dr. Lerner's book:

Do you flirt? Are you any good at it?

The most successful women I know are GREAT flirts. And they are successful across the board - in business, in love and in control of their lives.

My friend Sandy always looks her best when "fix it" men show up. She claims they do their best when she looks hers and is attentive to them.

I remember one of my best friends from High School, Teresa. We'd hear her saying things like "Jimmy have you been working out with weights again? You arms look sooooo big." We'd be snickering but you know what? She's practically running that state these days. (And she and Jimmy are good friends for life.)

Long story short, flirting is an essential, healthy and fun part of life. It is also very, very useful when it comes to Love & Marriage. Find out "how to" be your best flirt with this easy course by Mimi Tanner. Worth every penny, dime, dollar ... (What would you be willing to pay to have men do what you want them to do, and be happy about it?!)

Other men said they have seen angels,

But I have seen thee
And thou art enough.
~ by G. Moore ~

"The most important day to love is today. There is no benefit in looking at what your partner has "not" done for you yesterday — refocus your attention on what you can do for them, and you, today." ~ David Essel, M.S.


If you don't know David -- get ready to Slow Down and get the Love you deserve. That was the gist of his powerful message on the Get Ready For Love Show and, guess what? It works.


Slow down now, or simply do what you are already doing, and click here to listen into our interview archive. If you want to get the love my friend -- you need to do the footwork. We make it easy for you by keeping these pearls of wisdom accessible, 24/7.

-Special thanks to wsRadio.com The World-Wide Leader in Internet Talk.

Come 'on everybody! Let's help Sheryl Kurland, author, Everlasting Matrimony Pearls of Wisdom From Couples Married 50 years Or More.

In her own words, "Please help me with my upcoming book, 101 Marriage Traditions.
Looking for 101 Marriage Traditions or Relationship Traditions! Do you have a marriage or relationship "tradition" that you and your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend do with each other? Or that your parents or grandparents or relatives or friends do? Is so, please click here to fill out the form below and be published in my next book."

Here are some examples to give you an idea of the types of traditions that would be fitting:

• Linda says, "I love 'folded' potato chips. When Randy and I eat potato chips, like at home having lunch together or at a restaurant.He never says a word about this.He just smiles, picks out the folded chips, and gives them to me. Each one of those potato chips is a love note to me."
• Mike and Lillian have a rock garden in their backyard landscaping. Every trip they take, they bring home a rock, write on it where it came from and the date, and add it to the rock garden. Over their 60-plus years of marriage, the rock garden has grown substantially; it's a garden of their special memories.
• Harriett and Jeffry attended the Masters Golf Tournament in Augusta a few years ago. They LOVED the egg-salad sandwiches purchased at the concession! Although they haven't been back to the tournament, every year, during the weekend of the event, they commemorate it with a picnic with egg-salad sandwiches.

What about you? What about your girlfriend, sister-in-law, mom (please forward this post to them.) Thanks! xoxoxoxoxoxoxo -Viveca

The Kiss.


Kisses come in all shapes, sizes and silhouettes.
Here is one of mine.


E-mail me one of yours and I will post it here.


Somehow this is going to turn into a kissing contest or a drawing or a lottery. Don't ask me how. The idea is coming to me on the fly & it is f-u-n!

Oh. One more thing.

Look around you. Is there anyone nearby that you could hug or kiss?
If yes, do it.


If no, is there someone within a five minute walk? five minute drive?
Go for it.


Is there someone within your e-mail radius that you would like to kiss? Just send this post to them. No conditions attached. The only thing attached is ... a kiss from you, to them.


Kissy Kissy. Ummmmm. Ummmmmm.


P.S. E-mail me your kiss (photograph or drawing) to Viveca@GetReadyForLove.com Can’t wait to see it!

The song "Ready For Love" by India Airie inspired my soul. It connected me to the spirit of Love and opened my heart - wide. (You have to hear it for yourself.)

Months after I first heard it AND played it over and over again I was ready to get ready for Love.

That is how Get Ready For Love Radio came to be ...

A year later I was engaged ...

Aa year after that Michael and I married.

Ready for Love

I am ready for love

Why are you hiding from me

I'd quickly give my freedom

To be held in your captivity

I am ready for love

All of the joy and the pain

And all the time that it takes

Just to stay in your good grace

I you want - really want - to attract that special love then it is time to listen in to India's song, time to devour this list of self help relationship books and tune into interviews with relationship authors and experts.

Do your footwork. Prove your intention. Your intention will turn into attraction.
The rest is delicious.

Marry Smart: How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams by Terry Hernon MacDonald.

If we could just marry smart the first time (or second) we would avoid the emotional and physical heartache, fatigue, pain and suffering.

If you are getting ready for love, or ready to love again, STOP and order Terry's book. She teaches you the secrets to attract and marry the man of your dreams! Click here to learn more about this love guide and to order your copy.

By the way, Terry was one of my first relationship advisors and a favorite guest on the Get Ready for Love Show. Terry's formula worked for Terry, me and thousands more. Go ahead.

Be next.

You, in the nude?

Recently, a reader wrote in to ask my opinion of her new boyfriend's request that they exchange nude photos via email. At the time, I thought it was a no-brainer. Why would any intelligent person consider doing such a thing, especially in the Internet age?

I wrote to tell her that it was a terrible idea. Since then, I've learned that taking nude photos and performing in homemade porn flicks rivals the popularity of, say, the craze for brewing one's own beer in the early 1990s.

For example:

A couple of weeks ago, a mild-mannered, churchgoing man told me that he threatened a neighborhood teen not to copy or distribute a sex tape in which the boy appeared with the man's daughter.

And...

A newlywed couple invited their parents ... click here for more ...

-Contributed by Terry Hernon MacDonald, Founder, HappyGirlMusing.com

Love Tip and Technique - Detachment
a.k.a "Let go or be dragged"

I was on this very topic yesterday with a friend. Her parting words were something like it sounded like a good idea but she had “never been good at detaching.” Hours went by before I had the “ah ha!” Detachment doesn’t come easily to anyone! It is one of the most difficult of all the Love Skills to master …

Detachment is neither kind nor unkind. It does not imply judgment or condemnation of the person or situation from which we are detaching. Separating ourselves from the adverse affects of another person’s behavior* can be a means of detaching: This does not necessarily require physical separation. Detachment can help us look at our situations realistically and objectively.Detachment allows us to let go of our obsession with another’s behavior and begin to lead happier and more manageable lives, lives with dignity and rights, lives guided by a Power greater than ourselves. We can still Love the person without liking the behavior.
~ Al-Anon Family Groups

Detachment means you can stop:
Suffering because of the actions or reactions of other people
Allowing yourself to be used or abused by others
Doing for others what they can do for themselves
Manipulating situations so others will eat, got to bed, pay bills, exercise, or do whatever you think they “should” do.
Covering up for another’s mistakes or misdeeds
Creating A Crisis
Preventing a crisis if it is in the natural course of events ...

Is this a relationship technique you need to learn more about? For more, click here.

Write Your Way to a Life You Love: Personal Time Management from the Inside Out

I love Jennifer Louden's slogan, the Comfort Queen hub is "a place to be kind to yourself." And, she walks her talk making it easy for the rest of us to join in the self-love party ...

I am filing this entry under "Free Relationship Advice" and "Healthy Relationship Review" because the shoe fits.

My free advice to you today is that healthy relationships start with the one you have with yourself. Please take time to know AND love yourself. You can do that with her artful and thoughtful journals, "mood changer," books and self-care newsletter.

Just visiting her site makes me feel better (and today has been one of those days!)

Whatever is going on with you, take a break and give her a visit. Love, life balance, comfort, spiritual wellness - these are the life gifts that just keep on giving. You just have to open the spout and let the flow begin. Ahhhh. I feel so much better. Thanks for letting me share.

Are you registered for the Get Ready For Love Newsletter? If you have then you would have received your "Love Relationship Review."

I would like to say something about it.

Take it easy. The first time I went through this I thought I was hopeless. There seemed to be too many blanks, too many areas of my life to tidy up to be ready for love.

But you know what? Progress not perfection does it every time.

I am still not perfect (and I never will be) but I got the perfect love for me.

So take the time to complete the review. Journal about it - talk about what you've discovered with a girlfriend and then let the 3 As do their magic.

3 As -- Awareness - Acceptance - ACTION.

Psst. Do you have absolutely no idea what I am talking about? Then you need to click here and register for the Get Ready For Love Newsletter. This is a once a month event (more or less) and the registration offers are: The Love Relationship Review; Healthy Relationship Guidelines and the Nice Girls in Love interview. Ready, set, click here!

Relationship Advice :: “Back-Talk!” – we go back to the real-life relationship experts – couples who have been married 50 years or more. Husband and wife will each give their experienced answer to a relationship problem.

I love my wife, but lately she’s developed a negative attitude. In recent years, we have experienced a number of personal disappointments and family tragedy. Things seem to have finally reached a calm, but my wife has turned into a total cynic. Her negativity is draining the life out of me. What can I say or do to help turn this situation around? Please do not suggest counseling; she won’t go.

-Samuel

What would you advise? Click here to compare ...

-contributed by Sheryl P. Kurland, author, Everlasting Matrimony Pearls of Wisdom From Couples Married 50 years Or More

Look what I found! Actually a friend of mine found it and now I am passing it on to you ...

The 72 Names of God Meditation Book by Yehuda Berg

The 72 Names of God Meditation Book is your personal torch to highlight the areas of your life where you need to shine. Through the practice of meditating on the 72 Names of God, you will stir the Light within your soul to help you ...

see the impact of your decisions before you make them (very handy when it comes to Love); bring more money into your life whenever you need it and heal yourself physically and emotionally.

Count me in.

If you would like more reflection and inspiration be sure to visit the Get Ready For Love Reading Room. We read a lot of relationship books and interviewed relationship authors and experts on the Get Ready for Love Show.

What did I really learn? That we get what we focus on. If you want Love then make the time to learn about it, read about it, listen to experts about it and do-your-footwork. Before you know it you won't be looking - you'll be living the Love you desire.

SLOW down and get the love you deserve. Now that is great relationship advice (and it really works)!

Phone in and join David Essel for Free Relationship Advice on Wednesdays from 8:00 - 9:00 P.M. (EDT)

Topics include:

Aug 15th - The Power of Positive Self Talk
Aug 29th - Loving the Life You Have Now
September 19 - Get Out of Your Comfort Zones for Success
October 17 - By Sending Blessings to Others We Actually Bless Ourselves as Well

Click here for more information and to get connected for the next call.

Psst. I interviewed David on the Get Ready for Love Show. His book "Slow Down - The Fastest Way To Get Everything You Want" is one of my all time favorites. Excellent relationship advice from a human being who is right there in the trenches with the rest of us ...

Would you like to tune into that interview? It is just a click away ...

-Special Thanks to wsRadio.com for making this interview available, 24/7.

What's on your bumper sticker?

Lately I've been on the trail - literally - of men and women who are announcing their relationship status.

The first one was "Mr. Right." I assume that Mr. Right was wanting to attract Miss Right. When he does will his next message read, "Got Love."

Then yesterday I caught this beauty ... So many men, so many reasons to sleep alone.

I don't think this is Mr. Right's love. She sounds single but more than a tad jaded and unavailable.

Got me thinking ...

We all have bumper stickers in a manner of speaking.

For example, in my 20s my bumper sticker was "Not now. Soon."

I thought I wanted love - would go through the rituals, get the guy BUT what really mattered most to me was my work. I worked all-the-time, definitely a workaholic. Most of my relationships lasted six months. Many were with men in other states or countries.

Another good bumper sticker could have been "Unbalanced, unavailable woman. Six months then bust."

In my 30s I would say that my bumper sticker was "Looking for men to fix." Fix, change, manipulate, control - yep I was on a mission to avoid dealing with myself!

Then around 41, 42 something in me clicked. So did my bumper sticker. It now read "Getting Ready For Love." That is when I started the radio show, started reading all those books about love and starting heeding the relationship advice of all those experts.

Guess what? Our bumper stickers attract our reality.

"Not now, soon" Soon never arrives nor did Love.
"Looking for men to fix." I got plenty and then some.
"Getting ready for Love" I did and I got it.

This is an invitation for you to come clean - be honest with yourself. (And share with us.)

What's on your bumper sticker right now?

If you are not sure, look at your results. A mentor used to tell me to look at my results because they were "sometimes harsh but always fair."

Today I have heartbreak on my mind.

9/11 - I remember where I was and what I was doing when I saw that first plane ... That pain brings up other losses of loved ones and tough life lessons. The 'ol tar baby syndrome ...


So, I've spent the past hour researching the effect of heartbreak on the body and soul. Go figure.


If you are in that hurting place here are some books to help you break out of that vicious cycle of sorrow-anger AND start healing your broken heart and soul.

The Dance of Connection How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate

Transforming Anger: The HeartMath Solution for Letting Go of Rage, Frustration, and Irritation
Neuroscientists have discovered that getting the heart into a positive rhythm can send a signal to the brain, allowing the two to synchronize and transform anger, frustration, and irritation into compassion, empathy, and calm.

In The Spirit "That day of transformation seems so long ago..."

Pssst. A good book is no substitute for a bear hug. You may want to pull back and isolate. That is a natural instinct BUT know that you are not alone and reach out to others. O.k.?

I've been on the hunt for love. Or should I say "Cruising for Love."

Look what I found. I almost got into an accident getting this shot. What I won't do for Love ...

Oh, in case you can't read it -- the license plate read "Mr. Right."

If you are looking for an easier way to get to Love you can also sign up for the Get Ready for Love Newsletter and have it delivered directly to your e-mail OR get the "how to" skinny from one of my happily married friends and relationship mentors, Terry Hernon MacDonald. Her book, Marry Smart, helped me get to "I do." Are you ready?

I just stumbled upon this jewel ...

Better Single than Sorry :: Jen Schefft, ABC-TV's The Bachelor & The Bachelorette. Relationship Author of "Better Single Than Sorry" How to decide not to 'settle' but to hold true to going for the right partner.

Click here to go and listen on in ... I will be doing the same.

I also saw this hilarious bummer sticker today. It said "So many men, so many reasons to sleep alone."

Psst. Are you are in the market for love -- the kind you want to sleep with -- the kind that doesn't make you sorry, the kind that is loyal, trustworthy, fun, _____, _____, _____ (fill in your own blanks.) IF you are, do subscribe to the Get Ready For Love Newsletter.

Here, read a sample issue -- this one is on self-love. I think that's VERY appropriate for this conversation, don't you?

How did I get and how do I keep that "Lovin' Feeling?" I keep my focus on Love - just like any skill - Love requires focus, practice and a desire to keep getting better ...

This is an excellent interview with Dr. Diana Kirschner, author, "Opening Love's Door: The Seven Lessons and Patty Kovacs, the host of The Health & Beauty Revolution.

One thing you'll learn is Diana's #1 Secret you need to know to find the Love of your life.

BTW - what do you think it could be? Why don't you post you best guess here before you listen in ...

Dr. Diana Kirschner, a noted psychologist & love expert, has appeared on Oprah, Good Morning America, Sally Jessie Raphael and NPR radio ... She's hot.

Relationship Advice: Back-Talk!
In this column we go back to the real-life relationship experts – couples who have been married 50 years or more. Husband and wife will each give their experienced answer to a relationship problem.

My husband dresses like a total slob on weekends but wears suits and ties during the week for his job. Come Saturday and Sunday, he puts on the same ugly plaid shorts and raggedy t-shirts. And he shaves only if we're going out on Saturday night. It's very unappealing and makes me feel that he doesn't care about our relationship. His excuse is "I work hard all week and like to relax on weekends. I'm the same person no matter what I'm wearing." I don't expect him to be a fashion statement, however, his "condition" is a real turn-off and I can't stand him hugging or touching me. He says it wouldn't bother him if I was the way he is, which, of course, I would never be. Am I being too harsh? Can you shed some light on this controversy?- Marie

Click here to continue

-Contributed by Sheryl P. Kirland, author, Everlasting Matrimony Pearls of Wisdom From Couples Married 50 years Or More

Big thanks to Keven McCarthy of the The On-Purpose® Proverb‏ f(http://www.on-purpose.com) for bringing this lovely and loving movie to my attention. Now I'd like to share it with you.

Click here to view and know that Love is Spelled "T-I-M-E" for all of us.

Use your time well ...

I have a small, eclectic and growing collection of favorite love quotes.

Do peruse and jump in! Just on "comments" to add to the list ...

Soul meets soul on lover's lips. ~ by Percy Bysshe Shelly ~

There's no remedy for Love but to Love more. -Henry David Thoreau

Trouble is part of your life - if you don't share it, you don't give the person who loves you a change to love you enough.- Dinah Shore

I just love Terry Hernon MacDonald's BLOG. Do you know it? It goes by the name of HappyGirlMusing.com. This week's post On Being the CEO of Your Dating Life is priceless!

This morning on Today, ad exec Donny Deutsch offered dating advice to a single mother. The 38-year-old never-married woman, who has a job she "loves" and a 4-year-old she "adores," is reluctant to throw her life out of balance by getting involved with a man. She says she has supportive friends and family. She seemed pretty content to me.I'm sure Donny meant well. He suggested that this woman "test market" dating, so that "five years out," when her daughter may be tired of hanging out with her ... click here to read the rest of this story!

Psst. While you're at it -- Terry's book "Marry Smart" is an excellent read if you are musing about, pondering, wondering, hoping, considering or even, just about to get married!

I interviewed her years ago on the Get Ready For Love Show and her insights, and her book, contributed to my altar bound experience. What I learned then still applies - absolutely - in my marriage.

Your turn to get the scoop? Click here for more info and to order your copy.

This spring I had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. Lerner on the topic of her best-seller, The Dance of Fear. Eye opening, ear opening - WOW interview. If you, or someone you love -- like your teen-ager, sister or mom -- dances with fear, anxiety or shame please make a pot of tea, get comfortable and click above to listen up ...

You can also benefit from these excerpt from this best-seller ... Maybe you will even give it a try? If you do - let me know how you did and what you experienced ...

-excerpt from The Dance of Fear

THE FEAR OF REJECTION: A ONE-DAY CURE
By Harriet Lerner

Cured in a day? It happened like this:

I was surprised to get a call from Frank, a former therapy client who now lived in Tulsa, Oklahoma. His work was bringing him back to Kansas for a two-day seminar, and he wanted to know if I would meet with him. I hadn’t seen Frank since he and his wife, Ann, terminated marital therapy with me many years earlier. They appeared to be doing well, but Frank told me that shortly after they moved to Tulsa, Ann ended their marriage. Frank was devastated at the time, but he reported that he was now doing fine—“except for one thing.”

“What’s the problem?” I asked.

“Maybe I was traumatized by the divorce,” Frank replied, “but ever since Ann left me, I’ve been terrified of rejection.” He went on to explain that he hadn’t dated since his marriage ended two years earlier. He was drawn to a woman at work named Liz, but the mere thought of asking her out paralyzed him. Now Frank wanted to pick my brain for one session about how he might solve this specific problem.

I knew that Frank was a roll-up-your-sleeves, fix-it sort of guy, so it didn’t surprise me that he hoped for a quick solution. Since I more typically work with people slowly and over time, I was uncertain how much help I could provide in a single session. But I had recently attended a workshop conducted by Cloe Madanes, a therapist acclaimed for her innovative strategies. I recalled one particular intervention that Madanes had described for a man whose problem was quite similar to Frank’s. I had a strong intuition that this directive would be perfect. At worst, it would do no harm.

Click here to find out how, what, where and if Frank was able to overcome his fear of rejection. I won't tell -- you have to find out for yourself!

Relationship Advice : “Back-Talk!” – we go back to the real-life relationship experts – couples who have been married 50 years or more. Husband and wife will each give their experienced answer to a relationship problem.

I am engaged to a wonderful man whom I love dearly. We have many things in common and enjoy our time together. We have only one problem, but it is a big one. He is a spender and I am a saver. He loves to shop for clothes and electronics and only buys the best of everything. When we travel, we stay in the finest hotels and enjoy great meals. I certainly can't complain about that, but I have simple tastes, am satisfied with much less, and my bank account and investments are substantial. He, on the other hand, has very few assets.

Needless to say, I know a pre-nuptial agreement is in order, but I am more concerned about our relationship when we marry. I am afraid that he may feel that he is paying for everything and I am not holding up my end, since I have the assets. I feel we must find some common ground before we get hitched so that we both feel comfortable with our finances. I think that we are doomed for failure if we cannot agree beforehand. Can you help?

Debra

Click here for the rest of the story i.e. our couple's free relationship advice for Debra ...

-contributed by Sheryl P. Kirland, author, Everlasting Matrimony Pearls of Wisdom From Couples Married 50 years Or More

Secrets of the Law of Attraction
and how you can use it to attract Love & Money ...

This was one of my first interviews on the Get Ready for Love Radio Show. The guests were Sandra Anne Taylor, Terry Hernon MacDonald, Loral Langemeier, Gregg Krech, Marilyn Jenett & Sonia Choquette.

If you haven't taken the time to tune in and hear how easy it is to apply the Law of Attraction to Love -- well, what can I say? Just do it!

Just click here and do pass this page onto a girlfriend, mom friend, sister ... they will love you for it.

I want to congratulate wsRadio.com on its 6 years of excellent programming on a wide range of topics AND making all of it available to us, 24/7.

In case you don’t know … wsRadio.com is the leading “Internet Radio” Show Station. This is also where yours truly began the Get Ready for Love! Show which got me ready for Love, engaged and married! (They even hooked me up with an awesome wedding planner!)

Anyhoo the show goes on and you should check them out. One of my favorite shows is HayHouse Radio with hosts like Sonia Choquette; Dr. Wayne W. Dyer; Debbie Ford,; Mary Goulet; Dharma Singh Khalsa; Summer McStravick; Caroline Myss; Mona Lisa Schulz and Marianne Williamson.

True Love Story: Turn On Your Love Light at the Blood Drive

Giving blood with a date may seem like an odd alternative to getting tickets to Daddy Day Camp, but it's an adventure. It's a scary thing for a lot of people. It requires sacrifice, which is kind of attractive. It requires vulnerability, which is definitely attractive.

For the rest of this unique love story, click here!

On-Line Book Reviews & The Get Ready For Love Recommended Reading List include:

Nelson, Tommy, The Song of Solomon A Study of Love, Sex, Marriage, and Romance: Study Guide
(Mafe told me about this one - it is a biblical point of view - I am fascinated to find out what our elders have to say - could advice from then work now? I'll let you know!)

Ponder, Catherine, The Healing Secrets of the Ages
This is a wow read. Applies everywhere -- heart, body, mind, finances ...

Breathnach, Sarah Ban, Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy
I am reading a page here and there & loving it!

Dr. Harriet Lerner, The Dance of Fear Rising Above Anxiety, Fear & Shame to Be Your Best & Bravest Self

Trust Your Vibes 33 Secrets to Living a Six Sensory Life

For many more recommendations, many of which include interviews with their authors, click here or go to: http://www.getreadyforlove.com/readinglist.htm

MYTHS FROM ROMANTIC LOVE

It is not the solution to a problem that builds a healthy relationship. It is the PROCESS OF PROBLEM SOLVING ...- Dr. Belle

So, you're Getting Ready for Love! in a society where the divorce rate hovers around the 50% mark. Well, be careful. What you're looking for may be based on seductive expectations and myths about romance that grew out of centuries old concepts of Courtly Love and Romantic Love.

Until merged in the new world by the Puritans (yes, they originally sanctified passion through marriage), passion and marriage were essentially irreconcilable. Their origins and ends made them mutually exclusive. Courtly Love between a knight and his married lady of nobility was ALWAYS chaste and asexual: that would be the Knights of the Round Table variety, made legend by Lancelot and Guinevere. Then, as well demonstrated by Shakespeare in his tragedies, in order to have the unrequited love and intensity of emotion called for in Romantic Love, the beloved must remain unattainable. So often, these contradictory ideas coexist in our unconscious mind giving us automatic assumptions about what a relationship with another person is, what we should feel, and what we should get out of it.

Click here to read the rest of this article, MYTHS FROM ROMANTIC LOVE

Love Links continued ...

Like I pointed out a couple days ago ... the "Love Links" section of the Get Ready For Love! Website is full of unexpected & eclectic tips, tools & techniques to get you ready ♥ set ♥ GO

in Love. Here are just the B Love Links ...

Baggage to Bed?
If I Were Brave
Hug Your Body Right!
bANNED
if the Buddha dated ...
Books, Books, Books!your relationship reading list ...
favorite blueberry recipe
Do you have an achey breaky heart?

P.S. Do you have material you would like to contribute to the Love Links? If so, please e-mail me at Viveca@GetReadyForLove.com

Spent a couple hours this afternoon with one of my best friends -- shopping, giggling over clothes and styles that don't fit and found a couple that did.

We ended up in her garden and I took this photo.

Friends make our lives beautiful. Here's proof.

Who can you visit today - tomorrow? Do it.

Have you visited the "Love Links" section of the Get Ready For Love! Website? It is full of unexpected & eclectic tips tools & techniques to get you ready ♥ set ♥ GO in Love.

Here are just the A Love Links ...

A
A $20 Dollar Bill
Adrenal Fatigue Be Gone!
Your ATTRACTION Quotient!
And ...
Alanon
Free Relationship Advice
Are you Highly Sensitive in Love?
Anxiety - Why Am I So Anxious?
♥ Relationship Advice

P.S. Do you have material you would like to contribute to the Love Links? If so, please e-mail me at Viveca@GetReadyForLove.com

Favorite Love Quotes

The best proof of Love is trust.
-Dr. Joyce Brothers

This is a reminder for you to trust ... starting with trusting yourself. -Viveca

I am always reading about Love. I said from the very beginning that Love is a skill and we have to use it or lose it. Well not really lose it but get rusty, oh yeah.

Anyway ... a colleague and inspiration of mine says that we are - we create - we attract what we focus on most. She's written the book on it called Marry Smart How To Attract And Marry The Man Of Your Dreams.

Terry Herndon MacDonald was one of my first interviews on the Get Ready For Love! Radio Show - she is one of the ones that helped me get "mine" and continues to help me stay on track in Loveland. She is just a doll. You gotta meet her.

Take a moment - click here to go to T's interview page and learn how she used the Law of Attraction to get "hers" and marry smart.

De-tach-ment. Can you?
a.k.a. Let go or be dragged ...

I was on this very topic yesterday with a friend. Her parting words were something like it sounded like a good idea but she had “never been good at detaching.” Hours went by before I had the “ah ha!” Detachment does not come easily to anyone! It is one of the most difficult of all the Love Skills to master …

Would you like to learn more, like "how to" detach? Click here

Why the picture of the frog? Because it is a symbol of transformation. Just because something is difficult - be it detaching or attaching - doesn't mean it is out of your reach. -Viveca

BTW - Are you registered for the Get Ready For Love! Newsletter? Click here for a sample and to register.

Manly men ... step aside?

LONDON (AFP) - Women see masculine-looking men as more unsuitable long-term partners but men with more feminine features are seen as more committed and less likely to stray, researchers said Wednesday.

hmmmm. What do you think? Yes? No?

Click here for the rest of the story ...

How to Bounce Back from A Break Up (Contributed by Terry Hernon MacDonald)

If you've been with me for a while, you know I'm a proponent of EFT (or Emotional Freedom Technique). It got me through a wicked case of insomnia and panic attacks, for instance, during my mother's illness and after her death.

Holistic Health Counselor Alison Held recommends EFT for healing a broken heart. If you're like me, I didn't bounce back from failed relationships well (tended to pack on the pounds and wallow in misery) and held myself back from finding happiness with a more suitable guy.

Click here to go to the HappyGirlMusing.com for the rest of the story ...

You are such a cutie pie!

Do you know that?

Do you ever tell yourself that?

There is no time like the present to start ...

Click here to enjoy one of my all-time-favorite self-love tools called "The Wake Up Happy Face Exercise."

-contributed by Janet Bernson, The Healing Artist

People usually fail when they are on the verge of success. So give as much care to the end as to the beginning.

– Lao-Tzu

Do you feel yourself "failing" or lagging in one of more of your significant other relationships? Let this be a reminder to persevere. Love is worth it.

Try? There is no try. There is only do or do not do.

-Yoda, in the Empire Strikes Back

Refresh your self, your heart and your spirit with the Colors of the Chakras Meditation.
When you feel better it is easier to give and receive L-O-V-E, don't you agree?

I was just inspired to put this together this morning! Give it a try and let me know how you like it ... Click here to go to the Fatigue Be Gone! Blog and to the mediation. Enjoy!

Get somebody to Love. Somebody, some puppy ...

Who or what can you Love on today?

Just do it.

And, enjoy it!

Chocolate-coated fruit spells r-0-m-a-n-c-e.

What a great surprise to pull out of the refrigerator, in your romantic dinner for two.

Even a tender nibble brings the sweet juices of cherry, strawberry, or raspberry, encased in the thin waiting sheath of dark chocolate. What is it about chocolate and red fruit that seems so decadent? Maybe it’s the balance between the fruit’s quick sweetness with chocolate’s long-lasting, brain-altering addictions that so resemble love itself. Like love, at once bitter and sweet, held together in one irresistible package. Like love, taken to satisfy more the soul than the body.

Now, would you like the recipe?! Click here

Prison Of My Own
A True Story of Redemption & Forgiveness

At first it didn’t seem like my kind of book. For the past three years, as founder of the Get Ready For Love! Radio Show, I’ve spent all my time reading about love. Self love, relationship love, spiritual love, familial love, physical love, how to love …

It didn’t seem like my kind of a love story. I interviewed couples who met on a roof top, during a blizzard, in a hurricane, in a tall club, on the underwater hockey team, at dog beach, in a 12 Step meeting, in their office on the day the room turned pink …

The heroine of Prison Of My Own was happily married for thirteen years, had two children and a perfect marriage. Then one day her husband murdered his nineteen year old mistress. Opps.

Click here for the rest of the story ...

Excerpt from ... The Dance of Connection by Dr. Harriet Lerner
How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate

Finding Your Voice
The thread that unites my work both as an author and as a psychotherapist is my desire to help people speak wisely and well, sometimes about the most difficult subjects. This includes asking questions, getting a point across, clarifying desires, beliefs, values, and limits. How such communication goes determines whether we want to come home or stay away at the end of the day.

This is no simple matter, as glib terms like communication skills or assertiveness training imply. Assertiveness is considered a good idea -- if not a cultural ideal. But despite decades of assertiveness training and lots of good advice about communicating with clarity, timing, and tact, we may do our best to speak but still feel unheard. We may find that we cannot affect our husband or wife or partner, that fights go nowhere, that conflict brings only pain rather than an opportunity for two people to learn more about each other. We may have the same dilemma with our mother, sister or uncle, or close friend.

The Limits of "Good Communication"
We all want to communicate well and make ourselves heard. "He just doesn't get it" or ...
(click here to read the rest of this story - and learn how to "connect" no matter what.)

Don't give up before you get your miracle. -My Peeps

This has to be one of my all-time favorite Love quotes.

Peeps' "Love" miracle was a baby boy named Logan.

Have you experienced a Love miracle? Please click on "comments" and share ...

Know your "style" when it comes to Love and you will find it easier to live the Love you deserve.

For example, are you a Highly Sensitive Person (or in love with one?) Click here and find out.

Or, are you a hare, owl, turtle or squirrel? Click here for the HOTS Test.

I found both of these tests to be extremely practical and interesting. Take them, journal about what you learn and let me know how you apply your insights.

Live and Let Live.

I know you've heard that expression but, do you live it?

Today I am a "Harry Potter" widow. Michael bought the book yesterday and he will not do anything except eat, take bath room breaks, grunt responses to anything I may say and read-read-read until he is done.

My wicked twin side has come up with a list of urgent "honey dos." My loving, compassionate twin is generous. She wants him to savor every word. (And, I know he'll do the same for me next weekend when it is my turn!)

That's live and let live.

The 2ND opinion to live and let live is to ask yourself "How important is it?" If it not life or death it isn't that important.

Love asks you to stay in the moment and allow them to enjoy theirs ...

An Angel At My Alter

Do you believe in angels? in miracles?

Do you believe that the people we Love never leave? and that God, angels and miracles are happening all the time around us?

I do but it is not everyday that I have proof to show to you.

This picture is proof. In it you see me getting married to Michael. I'd say he's the man of my dreams but he is more than that and better than any dream I ever had. So there is one miracle.

Now - do you see the white "spot" behind me? That shows up here and there in the photos taken of us at the alter and of the wedding party while they were in attendance at the alter. The spot moves around but is usually near the crown, heart and root Chakras.

After the ceremony - it is gone.

My beloved mentor and friend, Dr. Belle, died the week before our wedding. Me, I think she was there with us afterall and that she had the best seat in the house. Belle helped me fix my "picker," she Loved Michael and was so happy for us.

I'll share more of these photos with you soon. Until then ... believe and feel the presence of the Love surrounding you. We are so loved and, we are never alone.