MYTHS FROM ROMANTIC LOVE

It is not the solution to a problem that builds a healthy relationship. It is the PROCESS OF PROBLEM SOLVING ...- Dr. Belle

So, you're Getting Ready for Love! in a society where the divorce rate hovers around the 50% mark. Well, be careful. What you're looking for may be based on seductive expectations and myths about romance that grew out of centuries old concepts of Courtly Love and Romantic Love.

Until merged in the new world by the Puritans (yes, they originally sanctified passion through marriage), passion and marriage were essentially irreconcilable. Their origins and ends made them mutually exclusive. Courtly Love between a knight and his married lady of nobility was ALWAYS chaste and asexual: that would be the Knights of the Round Table variety, made legend by Lancelot and Guinevere. Then, as well demonstrated by Shakespeare in his tragedies, in order to have the unrequited love and intensity of emotion called for in Romantic Love, the beloved must remain unattainable. So often, these contradictory ideas coexist in our unconscious mind giving us automatic assumptions about what a relationship with another person is, what we should feel, and what we should get out of it.

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