This spring I had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. Lerner on the topic of her best-seller,
The Dance of Fear. Eye opening, ear opening - WOW interview. If you, or someone you love -- like your teen-ager, sister or mom --
dances with fear, anxiety or shame please make a pot of tea, get comfortable and click above to listen up ...
You can also benefit from these excerpt from this best-seller ... Maybe you will even give it a try? If you do - let me know how you did and what you experienced ...
-excerpt from The Dance of Fear
THE FEAR OF REJECTION:
A ONE-DAY CUREBy Harriet Lerner
Cured in a day? It happened like this:
I was surprised to get a call from Frank, a former therapy client who now lived in Tulsa, Oklahoma. His work was bringing him back to Kansas for a two-day seminar, and he wanted to know if I would meet with him. I hadn’t seen Frank since he and his wife, Ann, terminated marital therapy with me many years earlier. They appeared to be doing well, but Frank told me that shortly after they moved to Tulsa, Ann ended their marriage. Frank was devastated at the time, but he reported that he was now doing fine—“except for one thing.”
“What’s the problem?” I asked.
“Maybe I was traumatized by the divorce,” Frank replied, “but ever since Ann left me, I’ve been terrified of rejection.” He went on to explain that he hadn’t dated since his marriage ended two years earlier. He was drawn to a woman at work named Liz, but the mere thought of asking her out paralyzed him. Now Frank wanted to pick my brain for one session about how he might solve this specific problem.
I knew that Frank was a roll-up-your-sleeves, fix-it sort of guy, so it didn’t surprise me that he hoped for a quick solution. Since I more typically work with people slowly and over time, I was uncertain how much help I could provide in a single session. But I had recently attended a workshop conducted by Cloe Madanes, a therapist acclaimed for her innovative strategies. I recalled one particular intervention that Madanes had described for a man whose problem was quite similar to Frank’s. I had a strong intuition that this directive would be perfect. At worst, it would do no harm.
Click here to find out how, what, where and if Frank was able to overcome his fear of rejection. I won't tell -- you have to find out for yourself!