Forgiving and asking for forgiveness embrace a great part of my emotional and spiritual growth. It is the act that fertilizes friendships and close relationships. Without it, I assure you the level of intimacy becomes stagnant. True growth is always built on mistakes and the process of their resolution.
I’ll begin with my acts of asking for forgiveness. It is the one I truly have some control over. I find at least three categories of forgiveness:
When I am wrong I promptly admit it. I mean during the conversation or as soon afterwards as I can accept my part of a blunder or transgression. You’d be surprised how often this puts your partner off balance----“I was wrong, forgive me” keeps any relationship on track and sets precedence for the other. Even the smallest infraction left to fester can scar a relationship.
Next, there are my delayed and procrastinated amends sometimes for years, decades! These are the wrongs I’ve been unable to face. Unfortunately, I’m the one who spends years with searing shame or pain, ruminating over disagreements and delusions. If at all possible, I try to meet face-to-face. If not, phone or letter play second best. Once I have admitted my wrong, it frees me up to forgive others, it encourages mending old relationships, and it alleviates my shame and pain.
If I hang onto the grudge long enough, asking for forgiveness face-to-face becomes impossible and I am faced with asking someone who has past on. My favorite way to do this is to write a letter and attach it to a helium balloon; then let it loose over the ocean. Another way is to burn the letter at a special place and watch the smoke rise to the sky.
Do I forgive easily? Since not forgiving keeps me uncomfortable and avoiding situations where that person may be, of course I forgive (it’s really the easier, softer way). When I find myself pulling back, saying “No! This one I can’t forgive!” I’ve been given instructions by a mentor to pray for that person for 30 days, asking that they receive all that is valued and coveted by me. Try it. You’ll be amazed.
Finally, I’ve learned that those who make me the angriest are the greatest contributors to my growth. Success with my companions and amours is always in the process of problem solving and forgiving. -Contributed by Dr. Belle
Your journal assignment ... Who do you need to forgive? Why? When?
Robert T. Kiyosaki - Real life is a multiple guess test and if you don't make mistakes you won't don't ahead. (The money part was excellent AND I loved his love story!)
Steven Guerrero, author, Gentlemen, Start Her Engine - And Keep It Running. You will be awed and inspired to attend to your love nest when you hear how Steven charges up his.
Bruce Cameron, Author, How to Remodel A Man Tips and Techniques on Accomplishing Something You Know is Impossible But Want to Try Anyway. Bruce is humble, hilarious and probably one of the few men I know who will admit to taking their sister's advice!
This show is guest hosted my my friend Mari Smith of MillionDollarRelationships a woman who walks her talk and is a pleasure to work with.
Just scrolling through last years family Christmas photos and had an "Ah Ha!"
I don't take pictures of things, people or places I don't like with my camera. As I scrolled through the photos some were better than others - sometimes people blink or my aim was off or the phantom hands petting Bitsey the dog (and her worried face) didn't look the way I expected BUT they all made me smile and feel good.
Today I will notice what my mind is "clicking on" and be as selective as I am when I use my camera. And, the ones I notice that aren't so hot? I'll simply delete vs. stew. Today will be an easy lovin' kind of day.
Are you having any Love "Ah Has" today? Do share ...
We met just before his 90th birthday. He is elegant, extravagant, extroverted and excellent company. Armando is a man loved by many and a man who loves women, shipping, friends, a little piece of paradise on top of a mountain in La Jolla, Ca and life. He loves life.
And, he is a poet.
yes, - I confess I've had innumerable romantic escapades, erotic episodes, unrequited passions and desires whose name I wouldn't dare to say. I've resorted to the incense of flattery played the game of predator and prey, yet, - none to be confused with the darker side of lust.
I've been untimourous about pleading for your kiss bathed in contentment when your embraces release me from despair, consoled when you cleared the double from my implausible concerns, surrendered, when I bequeathed you my heart.
Another thought along this line is a quote I love. "I would worry less about what people thought about me if I knew how seldom they did."
In other words, most people, even our significant others are just doing what they are doing without premeditation or passive aggression. The toilet seat is left up because that's were it was when he finished his business.
The toilet seat was left down, because that's where it was when she finished hers.
When something annoys you, remember to Q-TIP, take a couple deep breaths and move on with the rest of your day.